Over about maybe seven or eight months ago now I ran a successful Kickstarter campaign for a steak dinner. It was come up with and run and executed at a time in the midst of a slow summer of stand-up and nothing much to do, and, in all honestly, I wanted a steak.
Nothing more, nothing less than a steak dinner is what I wanted and what I asked for and what I got. I think it was $83 I asked for, and, lo and behold, within the six days or so for which the campaign was to run, I raised more than I would need for the $83 (perhaps it was $86 in the end, though I don't remember), and I just want to say that I am sorry right now for not having fulfilled my "rewards" or whatnot to those who contributed two or more dollars to the campaign, to whom I had promised to provide a written account of my experience of the steak. It just so happened to be the case that the very next morning after the steak dinner I left to go on a very long and arduous and hilariously fun and time-consuming comedy tour, nothing of which of it so much allowed me to feel too terribly about the my having failed to meet my obligation. Thankfully, none of my two-dollars-or-more steak dinner backers (enthusiasts) chose to complain to Kickstarter or demand their money back.
Also, another reason for having failed to provide the written account was because in my grand ambition I actually arranged to have the entire meal experience captured on film--which I did--but which then left me with so much goddamn footage of me eating and ordering assessing that I was effectively paralysed from taking any action in light, and in the face, of such near-infinite editing possibilities.
It's come to a time, however, that I think a part of the video ought to come out, if, for no other reason, than that it is the end of the year and it's a time to cross things off of one's thousands of lists and this one in particular has been weighing on me especially heavily over the last very long while.
n.b. I would like to make it ridiculously clear that a very good and lovely friend of mine was so kind enough to record the steak dinner herself that I felt terrible for her then having either to i) not eat at all while I was eating, or ii) pay for her fine steak dinner at a fine steak dinner-eating establishment, that I generously or respectfully or fairly paid for her dinner, which ended up costing me far more than what I'd raised online (that is, my dinner was covered by the funds, but then I ended up paying for an-other entire steak dinner entirely). Indeed, and, in fact, I ended up spending far more on that one night than I had in so many, perhaps several years prior. Still, here we are.
(Oh yeah--and, of note--this whole steak dinner thing was done long before that whole egg salad thing. The guy raised, what, $50,000 or something? I mean, fuck him, kind of; but, more importantly, contrary to whatever Morgan O'Shea might have to say, it's not that he did the same thing but more funnily (a terrible adverb, incidentally). Rather, asking for a steak dinner is a thing different altogether than asking for an egg salad. The entire spirit and hilarity and idea are other. Perhaps he did something wholly better, but, certainly we didn't do the same thing but differently. I never wanted, nor was the intention ever, to raise much money ever (in fact, at one point I asked or told people, please, to stop giving me money), but, then again, so did too maybe the other guy.)