one day I will buy an old computer that has nothing on it but my files. it will be good and old and have no internet and that will be how it will be. it will keep me locked up and away from all that I've ever needed. you will never see me on the internet again ever again. that is all I want and I think I will be better for it. never again will we have to see the kind of shit that we do now. I will buy something and that will be it and then on we will go. we will come to know and to recognize that the one thing we've only ever needed is right before us as it is. we can stall and wait and see all that we can in this way, but then in the end that is all it will be. courage, my love, is what they say when they don't know what else is going on, but at some point we will have to find out that the one thing we cannot do without is whatever it is that we need most. it will just be my writing computer; my joke-writing computer. there will be editing and deleting and that is it. never again will I have to pull out this shit when the truth of the matter is all I have and want to do is the write the jokes that have to be written.