alright. good, alright—ok so…alright, so, ummmm…last night—it’s very echoey—anyway, was my first night on psychedelics, ok? yeah. and…I don’t know how to communicate this, you know? um, which I guess is like—I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know—but like I guess away from—yeah, you want to understand so that from your perspective…uhh….when my girlfriend came the first—the second thing I said was they made me, they made me put on a shirt [laughter] you know? um, because it was like, 3:30, you know…Mile End, and I wanted to be alone, I wanted to be with my thoughts…and I was like, I’m going to go downstairs, I’m going to sit on the curb, with a shirt on um…and like sit there—I don’t know…thinking? about my…experience of my enjoying…or enjoying, my thinking of experiencing you know? and I was across the street from a school, like a grammar school that was being let out and uh, I didn’t understand how that was like somehow anti-social [laughter] you know? to be like, to be sitting there, perfectly still, just enjoying…being alive, you know? // so that’s from like the outside, you know, that’s the external, and it’s supposed to be like this spiritual thing and so this was the first time ever I’d ever brought, like, my favourite text onto the stage, as a prop, you know, uh [shows Hegel’s Phenomenology of Spirit] [laughter] and I don’t how [laughter] ‘cause it has a lot of underlinings in this book, you know? [shows underlinings] [laughter] [off mic: something about how if there’s that much it shows you just how much I didn’t understand any of it] and then, and then today I was reading it, um, and I had a passage that had never…resonated before, but now it does, and so I’d, I’d like to share it with you, you know?
the situation in which consciousness knows itself to be at home is for Science one marked by the absence of Spirit. conversely, the element of Science is for consciousness a remote beyond in which it no longer possesses itself. each of these two aspects [of self-conscious Spirit] appears to the other as the inversion of truth [laughter]
alright I’ll tell you a joke for your sake now [laughter] // that that’s good, you know? cause it’s weird, anyway, we’ll go, we’ll go, you know into ‘need’ and ‘love’ later you know [laughter] // question, right? so, if I’m on package holiday, right, um, and let’s say, I don’t know, like, in Manzanillo you know and uh, the breakfast buffet, there isn’t really like a really good croissant…is that like a first…or a third world problem? [laughter] ok? something for me, something for you you know? [laughter] yeah, no, yeah, that’s good, cause it’s weird, yeah, ‘cause what you want is—what I wanted is, or what I think that I wanted was, yesterday, was that I wanted confirmation that I wasn’t insane [laughter] you know? uh, ‘cause you know, uh, all I wanted was to be left alone, not asked how I am [laughter] like, I’m fine, I apologize [to my friend in the audience who was there for the trip], the only thing I wanted was, like, confirmation that I was ok, not the questioning of it…so you want the person, you think you love, you know, ah, but now you know it’s a weird, it’s a weird, it’s a very spiritual thing, you know you want, you want, you can’t be alone and know that you’re sane, so you need someone, you need the person who—whom you trust most, to confirm for you, that you’re ok [laughter] and then—more than that—you need, your friends, to witness the two of you [laughter] confirming that your—yeah, like, yeah, this is a good person for you [laughter] and that’s ultimately why I do this [stand-up] you know [laughter] because uh, you’re like, who’re you? [laughter] you don’t even know me // and it’s weird cause it comes down to the whole thing which is really about the whole first/third world problem is that—this whole issue—ca—people are terrible today, in comedy, you know, there are these fucking, safe space…narrow-minded…barbarians basically, who are like, you can’t say…things[ find a better word] you know, like? like, it’s the most, it’s…it’s like the perfect opposite of what you want to, like it’s the simplest, this is, this is how you explain things to the people with the simplest understandings, you always say ‘please or thank you’, or you never say—you never take candy from a stranger, whatever [laughter] there are people who are…and they’re comics and they’re comics saying this which is like—horrific, because, what you want as a comic is—like yeah, ok, so you have your political ends, so your have your own agendas, so you know, do that on your own time, you know [laughter] if you want to forward your, your your personal ends, then with—be a politician, don’t—can you imagine a serious comic, like, like like someone who’s here being like ‘this is what serves my self-interest best,’ and telling others they can’t tell jokes on stage? it’s grotesque and people listen to this you know, they don’t think for themselves—and it’s it’s they deserve a world with no laughter you know [laughter] I have my pain—but I leave it at home, you know, I leave it at home, (and) I do drugs [laughter] cause like really, I mean, antagonism is like the essence of lots of things you know—like here we are, I’m speaking you know, at like philosophically—truth and appearance and all that—and ethically, you know, you have like, what what I think, what you think, yourself and the other—and comedically, you know, it’s like, you have sort of like, incongruence and like suspension or tension and release—and your like nah, ‘what I think, I wonder what of the questions that plague me’… I guess really if that—you know, like you know why I do this is because like…life doesn’t mean—who cares, you know [laughter] so what’s really fascinating, is like, telling people—trying to convince you that, it’s also shit, you know [laughter] but then you find something you really enjoy—like lying, lying in bed, you know making love and you don’t want to tell jokes anymore because it’s [life] ok [laughter] you know…and then you come on stage and you tell jokes about it being ok and like—is it good or bad, you know, does it matter? [laughter] if you can feed yourself, you know…and on that note, I have albums for sale in the back you know [laughter]….buy me a drink, you know? // this is my work. anyway. oh my god // anyway. ok, thanks very much, thanks for your time